“What would your life be like if there was no God?”
This is the question I was posed at the beginning of one of my classes today. I piped up from the second row, “Let’s not think about it.” But my teacher was trying to get us to think critically because many Christians just don’t think about these things. They are afraid that if they look outside of the beliefs that they have they may find something that God cannot provide for them. When in fact He can, and does, provide all that we need, we just have to learn to that some things must be waited for…and other just are not necessary.
This was not the first time I had let myself ponder this question though…I know what I would be. I know because I have come very close to letting myself believe that there wasn’t a God and lived a life accordingly.
And it is funny that this question comes up now because lately I have been thinking alot about where I was last year in comparison to where I am today. And not where as in a physical location, though sometimes that would apply, but more along the lines of a mental or a spiritual location. Last year about this time I had decided to give up living a Christian life. It didn’t matter to me what God thought because I was choosing to pretend that He didn’t exist. What is even more interesting is that in my “freedom” I was more miserable than I ever was seeing what I “couldn’t have” as a Christian. I hated myself, I hated my friends, my family….I was dead….and everyone knew it, including me. But God knew what He was doing (JUST LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES!) and He created in me a deeper understanding of redemption than I could have ever imagined possible in myself (because I always knew it was possible in others).
Have you ever thought about how depraved (lost) you would be without the Creator?
Have you ever been there?
Tell me how you know He is who He says He is…
Take as much room as you need.
Ashley
“all my hopes and dreams inside
visions lurk behind my eyes
something new behind it grows
and You smile as my heart knows
to be another still with You
i’m the one that loved You through
but i’m still nothing next to You
i’m still nothing next to You
what i’ve seen and where i’ve been
what’s breaking out and breaking in
who i love and i despise
melting into compromise
how i’ve changed and how i’ve learned
becoming less becoming more
and i’m still nothing next to You
i’m still nothing without You
and the wonder of it all
is im still standing
and the wonder of it all
is we’re still standing
never planned it
and i wonder
where i’ll be next year
the sickness my mind’s battled long
the center of my every song
the beauty of my voice it fades
into a spiritual cascade
flowing from Your perfect smile
i’ve avoided all the while
and i’m still nothing next to You
i’m still nothing next to You
all the future seems unclear
never moving never near
but You hold me as i scream
wake me from my wicked dream
something out there waits for me
hand in hand we wait for it
and i’m still nothing next to You
i’m still nothing without You
and the wonder of it all
is im still standing
and the wonder of it all
is we’re still standing
never planned it
and i wonder
where i’ll be next year
will You stand right next to me
will You hold me faithfully
should i question all these things
what makes me so deserving
and the wonder of it all
is im still standing
and the wonder of it all
is we’re still standing
never planned it
and i wonder
where i’ll be….next year”
~Monday Morning
Eating My Way Through It 
I went to manna with y’all I konw Hannah and Esther
Yes… I’ve too have tasted of this bittersweet place. When you reason away all the things that used to matter greatly, when you are willing to let man’s interpretations of the Word become your truth, that’s when you know you’re in too deep. I’ve heard it said many years ago that some sins will take you a) farther than you wanted to go- that was my case b) keep you longer than you bargained to stay- God’s grace pulled me out just in time c) and cost you more than you wanted to pay. All sin costs, and God warned me of the costs of this particular sin while I walked on the thin ice of “my truth” reasoning with myself over and over again “Oh, it’ll be okay- they’ll live through it. I mean, statistics show…” One sure thing I learned was that as soon as I let man start weaving my truth, and pulling away from all those that God has set around me as spiritual counsel because “they don’t really know me anymore, besides, they don’t understand” that’s a red flag worth regarding!! Why do we think deception isn’t as deceptive as it really IS??
I love you Ashley- you made it through the rain and found yourself respected by the others who got rained on too and made it through. xoxox
~beJeweled
ps Something I distinctly recall God telling me during my recovery was “Your sin is what makes you accepted by man, and Jesus is what makes you accepted by God.” =)
Hey Ashley,
looks like all is going well. Isn’t God good! I haven’t seen you in a while. this post is really deep! I want to thank you for being so willing to share the deepest parts of you. you always have something posted that challenges me in my walk. Not only with Jesus but with my family as well. your family challenges me by showing that as long God is at the center of your focus there is no challange that not be overcome. So, thanks for being such such an awsome example of an overcomer.
in many ways God has taken me from all that is safe, familular, reliable, solid, dependable, etc and has taken me to a place where everything with in me is be challenged. He has seprated me from friends, family and loved ones. People I thought where friends I have found where little more than acquintences. why is it that? I believe God is showing me the only thing certian in life is Him! and nothing else. I wish I could share some more but I…..Maybe another time
are you going to War cry?
Monty