How do you make love stay?
You know I was reading through some of these answers and I was slightly angered by the idea that someone posed which is that: “You can’t! You can only love until the other let’s go and then you have to know when to let go yourself.” And then I realized that…it’s true. No matter how much I want, in my “I can do it myself because I’m a big girl” brain, to be able to change that…it’s true.
You can’t make love stay in the other person’s heart. But in yours, you can choose to love. Love is a decision. A decision you can make in spite of and in spite of the decision the other person makes. And your decision and your actions can OFTEN times change the other person’s heart. (Everyone wants to be loved with abandon. EVERYONE! That’s why girls will go home with the ugliest guy who is willing to show them a semblance of love. Everyone want to belong.) So if you choose to love, even when there feels like there will never be a return, your love will make an impact. They will feel it, and then they will be posed with the same decision. To love or to walk away.
The only problem with this choosing is when you choose in the face of abuse or neglect. One can choose to hold on even in those times…but that’s when it becomes unhealthy and dangerous. But I think this is due to an imbalance in one’s vulnerability which is a keystone for making love truly work. Everyone has God-drawn boundaries of what they need in their lives to fill their “love tank.” And I surely don’t believe in settling. But TRUE and PURE love is based on a balance of not holding on to wrongs being done to you but yet not allowing yourself to be abused.
Honestly, Jesus is pretty dang good at this. He loves constantly and purely, and with abandon. When you love like He does. With boundaries and patience…you will be astonished at how love works in your favor. Follow His lead and usually, it’ll either work out like you wanted it to…or better (disclaimer: which may not look anything like what you wanted it to).
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