I have been *REALLY* evaluating my relationships and the “who” that I am in those relationships, recently. I have also been diving into the Law of Attraction and having my karmic ass handed to me.
I have often been one to blame someone or something outside of me for….well, everything, if I am being honest. Everything always felt so outside of my control. I learned to provide explanations and excuses for all of it. And, for those of you who have not drunk any of the Law of Attraction cool-aid, Law of Attraction doesn’t give two flying fucks what your reasoning is – what you ask for is what you receive.
That’s it.
So, as I swallow the pill that whatever I sow I will reap, I continue to evaluate what I have and what I want, and I will tell you that the disparity is sickening. In fact, I CAN’T think of it for too long without spiraling into deep sadness. After all, this torture has been at my own hands! I must love myself SOOOOOOO much (*she said, sarcasm dripping from her words*). I guess the great news is that I don’t have to wait an eternity to make my life different. That can happen today! Without anyone else’s help!
Thank the Gods!
One of the areas that I have been frustrated about for probably the entirety of my life is friendship. I have had some beautiful friendships in my life. They have been deep and meaningful, and then they have ended. Almost all of them. In fact, when my mom and dad chose the name “Amania Ruth” (which means “faithful friend”) for my “bat-mizpah” at 16, I almost felt mocked by the name. Did I always intend to be a faithful friend? Yes. But living in a military town and living through enough sun-cycles to feel people go through their own seasons in their lives had taught me to not hold too tightly to anyone.
You know what? That is just arguing for my limitation, which neither you nor I need to ponder over if we can help it. SOOOO, ANYWAY!
I recently read this great book series call “The House Witch” (Adorable, cozy. An easy recommendation for anyone who is open to reading about magic, no matter your preferred level of “spice.” I would rate it half a chili pepper for those of you who are big into the spice. Heads up, a minor *spoiler* in the next line) and in this series the main character, Fin, realizes that to unlock the full potential of his magic he “simply” needs to believe that the people in his community love and support him. As I was reading, I realized that likely I could find the same kind of “unlock” moment if I ascribed to a similar thought.
Building on this premise, we can also add to it that whatever we believe, we will observe. And whatever we observe becomes reality (see quantum mechanics). So! If I choose to believe that the people who surround and interact with me on a daily basis do not mean me harm and instead WANT to be my friend, I will begin to see this in my reality. Likewise, this will affirm it in my beliefs and, in the end, make *ME* feel safe enough to let down my guard and be the “faithful friend” I am named for. Is there self-trickery involved? Yes. Do I care? No. Let’s be honest, I tell myself negative lies all the time so why not twist the mistruths on their head and help myself win?!
It makes me smile to think that the scripture in Proverbs which reads, “A man who has friends must himself first be friendly” might have been a hint at this truth all along. I plan to harness this idea and sow open friendliness as often as I can and wait for the beauty of friendship to bloom in my world in a new way. This thought also inspires me to earnestly take care of the relationships I currently have the honor of being a part of. They are like gold to me, and I should treat them with the value that they inherently possess.
What truths have been pondering lately? What truths can you add to your beliefs to make your relationships better?
Eating My Way Through It 