So, I don’t know how to answer the questions that I have been asked everyday for the past several weeks: “How are you?” “Are you okay?” “Is there something wrong?” There is lots going on in my heart…it’s like a foreboding rain cloud is hanging over it…but all of you who know me well know that I love the rain…so that’s not a bad thing. Jesus speaks to me through the rain. So I’m just staring up into it singing, “LET IT RAIN! LET IT RAIN! OPEN THE FLOODGATES OF HEAVEN!” with arms stretched out wide. To most outsiders it looks scary but the storm does not worry me…there is peace in storms. It cleans things. Everyone stops demanding the normal from you in storms, they are too busy thinking of how they are going to weather their way through it. And afterwards, all the things that were once dry and brown are now green and drenched. There is a sweetness to the air that no piece of sugar (including chocolate) can compare to. The world makes that sound that you always hear at the end of a Coca-cola commercial, that satisfied sound after someone has just taken a drink. The colors are so bright that they almost blind; they definitely speak of the Father’s handiwork.
But we aren’t to that part yet. The clouds are still here…and that’s okay. Just like when the snow captured me inside, I can’t wait until I step out at that moment when most would proclaim me unfortunate and the rain clouds decide to dump all of their contents at once. Will my hair look good? Who knows. Will my mascara run? Maybe, maybe not (I do wear waterproof mascara for a reason). Will my clothes be ruined? No, they will dry in time. But who cares. I choose to see the Father in it. I choose to be as a child a revel in the fact that nature as given me the opportunity to get messy and enjoy the mud in between my toes.
So this song is one of the two that I knew I had to share with you all…it was very much God speaking to me. Especially when He is talking about dreams…hm…He has been dreaming big for me and I am afraid to dream with Him. Yes, this song is definitely for me, and maybe it’s for you. Let Him sing it to your heart. I know you may not know the tune, but He wrote it so let Him sing it how He wants.
Ashley
Jacob’s Dream
Jacob really longed to be a hero
All I really wanted was a friend
I’m the Way, the Life, the Truth tell Me Jacob
When will the lying end
Does the striving make you strong
Cause when I came to love on you
You fought me to the dawn
Finally Jacob’s lying down
And while he sleeps, I will dream
Of a generation not known for their crowns
Or success but a King
Who was not so much as interested in crowds
Or pleasing man but knowing Me
I have given Jacob’s generation
The Key of David
Intimacy
To open up the doorway to the nations
And release revelation of Intimacy
With Me
Jacob had a dream for all the ages
Jacob had the drive to build a nation
But your striving is in vain if your only aim
Is to build your own great name
Cause My dream is not what you do
Jacob will you dream for Me
The way that I have dreamed for you
Finally Jacob’s lying down
And while he sleeps, I will dream
Of a generation not known for their crowns
Or success but a King
Who was not so much as interested in crowds
or pleasing man but knowing Me
I have given Jacob’s generation
The Key of David
Intimacy
To open up the doorway to the nations
And release revelation of Intimacy
With Me
I have given Jacob’s generation
The key of David
Intimacy
To open up the doorway to the nations
And release revelation of Intimacy
With Me
Eating My Way Through It 
I know you don’t need to, and if you did I’m not the first person you’d come to, but of course the invitation to my Turkish apple cider still stands. Liquid or otherwise 🙂
I know you don’t need to, and if you did I’m not the first person you’d come to, but of course the invitation to my Turkish apple cider still stands. Liquid or otherwise 🙂
so, yeah… speaking of songs: You know how I performed my song last night at the song writers’ cafe? well afterwards, john went and asked John David to critique one of his songs. I went over there to listen and afterwards, Brian Shaw asked me if he could critique mine, I said sure. And he told me it was great, but too long. And I have told you in the past that I do not know exactly how to comment back.. So I just told them that I am not necesarily there for the people to like it or to create a cd, but to worship. And john told me as we were walking away that I took it harshly :-p How else could I take it… I nodded and said “okay” I even smiled. But John said that I am not good at taking criticism. cual quiere (what ever) hehehe
Yeah, just keping you updated. Love YOU!
Hannah
Your very good. I was feeling a little blah when i wrote that. Im not sure why. But today was a good day, and i mean it. I do feel good here. Im still in a little bit of an unsure place. hmmm
maybe when i find a good group of poeple my age that are christians. I do help lead sparks, and im in a christian womens book/Bible study group.Im more crafty than i ever have been. i mean i think im gonna make some of my own clothes or something soon. =) Ive been journaling alot, and so i havent felt the need to talk to people as much as i used to. Im reading a book right now by Bob Sorge, and it is absolutely changing my life! So do i think im growing, YES! Do i think that i am changing, YES! Do i think that i am in a good place, ABSOLUTELY! Am i settled, eh?I dont know why but i REALLY want to tell someone that there was this young single guy that came over the other day to fix the computer here, he was from church. He was giving me those searching eyes like “are you my wife?” And please dont ask me why, but for some reason he kept reminding me of Jacob Ryan, HAHA!!!! im laughing here just thinking about it. I cant for the life of me figure out why. Maybe the way he talked or something. lol! Well sleep well sister dearest.
esther**