So there are strange things in the wind blowing through my world…no need to worry though, it’s just a different season.  A new chance to become more like Him.  A new chance to swear to my hurt, to hold onto the burning ember that is Him and yes, hurt and even die…but not to hurt without healing or die without resurrection.  I face this boldly and with hope…and hopefully with grace.  I am Much Afraid (from Hinds’ Feet in High Places), surrendering myself to the alter of the One who loves me more than any human ever could.  I will endure…

But!  That’s not what I came to write…that is just a very ambiguous update.  I came to type out a dream that I had many months ago, that I found this morning while I was looking at all the dreams that I’ve had this summer (which obviously has been a way that God has been speaking to me this summer oddly enough).  I found this dream and I thought it was intense…I don’t actually remember having the dream so I’m glad I wrote it down because it is DEEP!  I’m going to type it out just as it is in my journal…I mean since I can’t remember it, that’s probably better.  The ( ) statements are my commentary now on this writing.

7/25/07

I just had a very odd dream.  I wasn’t in it at all (which is odd because I’m usually in my dreams)…it was about Jesus.  I can’t remember much but I’ll try to get as much as I can. 

It was in cartoon form.  When the dream began Jesus was as you would normally see Him (you know, the robe and beard…I guess is what I meant).  One of His disciples was with Him, I don’t know which one.  They were living life somewhat as we would live life, only Jesus was doing everything “better.”

They were on a paint job and Jesus got recognized for doing a good job.  They were hangin’ out with some girls, one of them was dating the disciple.  However when Jesus came around and began talking to her, even completely non-romantically, she dumped the disciple and began following Jesus.  Then there was what seemed to be a “try-out” of sorts, and they tried the disciple first and then they tried and picked Jesus.  The only thing is that the end of Him being chosen, He was beaten and crucified.  But the disciple didn’t see all that and as Jesus is going up to the cross the disciple is cursing Jesus in his heart because all he sees is that Jesus is picked over him again, “to play the role of a lifetime.”

~~~

Deep, isn’t it?  Totally not me or my doing, that’s for sure.  Come to think of it that would make a GREAT skit.  I don’t know how it applies to everyone’s life…but I know that it applies.  Our self-centeredness is always getting in His way.  I think it also speaks to the fact that inside of us, all of us want to be God like lucifer did.  We don’t see that because He is willing to give it all (His life) and more (His original place in Heaven), that’s why He gets to be the One who all the angels, human, and creation will bow to.  It is because He sacrificed that He is lifted up. 

Good stuff…God stuff….

Ashley