Three-in-One

Besides kicking off a journey into spirituality, another big game changing move I made was to split myself into three people. Yep, correct. Last time I am listening to a woman who was talking with demons (chill out, it’s just Source and, yes, it is safe). This time I am talking about how I gave myself a split personality…on purpose…for my betterment. Stick with me.

You see, one of the main problems for every person with ADHD is that they will clean a whole house, mow the lawn, wash the dog, organize the doom pile, and cook dinner IF someone is hanging with them. They won’t even realize that they have accomplished all the things on their to-do list without a struggle until later. They call it body doubling. Likewise, empaths/healers/givers will do all those things, even alone IF they are doing it for someone else.

I was thinking through these two commonly known ideas one day and I realized that it sucked that I was not willing to do the things that kept my life moving forward for just me, by myself. Why was I willing to clean do my friends dishes if mine were piled up at home? Why did there need to be such a high barrier between me and getting things done….for my own betterment?

Then I wondered: What would happen if I treated future me like a different person? After all, she is WILDLY different than the woman currently writing. Sure, she has similarities, but so do my friends. What if I treated her, that woman out there in the future, like a friend? What if I set her up for success like I do the people I love? What if I thought about her needs before she did? What if I put systems in place so that she and I could communicate?

Take something simple: Where are my keys? Every person with an ADHD mind, talks about how this one plagues them regularly. Where are my keys? What if I put them in the same place every time? What if after each time I finished needing them in my hand, they went to their place?

Sure, I can make this a chore and saying to myself, “Yeah! Do it right or you are disorganized and scatter-brained!” OR!
I can think, “Wow! I am so excited to set future me up for success by putting these keys in their spot right now. I can’t wait for Future Me to feel loved and supported when she finds these right where I put them for her.”

Yes, I know I am laying it on thick, but I don’t care. Because then when Future Me finds her keys in the precise place she thinks they should be, then she can feel back to the past and love Past Me, be grateful for Past Me.

I would argue that this is the true definition of self-love. The moment you lay down your arms against your Past Self because she is no longer the fuck-up who can’t seem to see what is coming down the pipe and start setting up your Future Self for success. It helps you feel more at ease in your soul. It helps you to know on a deeper level that You are rooting for You!

Try it with something a little more like love: In the evenings, as I am making my cup of tea, I reset my coffee pot and set the timer. I don’t have a someone to bring me coffee in bed, so I do the best I can by my Future Self and I make it for “her.” It’s simple. It’s cheesy. It’s impactful. Who doesn’t want to start their day knowing that they are looking out for themselves and willing to put in the small effort of caring for the needs of their body…and their heart?

No, I’m not in New York and I am unlikely to ever be but this song (“Cheering for Me” by John Kander and Lin Manuel Miranda) is what living like this feels like. Sweet. Crisp. Hopeful.

The crazy thing is that this idea also helps me trust myself more, trust Source more. I don’t spend as much of my internal dialogue shredding myself to pieces because my Past Self did right by my Present Self. Which means that when my Present Self “suggests” a course of action I trust it more, I know that I am working towards my own betterment. I have shown myself to be faithful to…myself. I have evidence that I put my needs first. I take care of my house first, which leads to a happier and more stable me….which means that when I give I am giving from that place. This means the gifts are easier to give because they aren’t in contention with my betterment.

This may sound crazy. This may sound self-involved. This may even sound selfish. That’s okay to me. I am “cheering for me now” and beginning to pull ahead.

Chew on it. Let me know what you think.

-A